A letter to my girls

Hey ladies,

Although words can hardly express the affection and admiration I have for each one of you, I thought it best to give it a try so that you know without a doubt just how much you mean to me as a teacher and as a person and how much I will miss you as I move on to new things in my life.

Honesty time: Moving to Cedar Rapids was never in my life plan. In college, I wanted to do big things. I wanted to sing (or direct) in big important choirs, go big important places, and hang with big important people. I never imagined that it would take time and experience to reach my goals. Somewhat grudgingly, I accepted my first teaching position at College Community School district in Cedar Rapids teaching middle school girls (and a few boys) how to sing. I will never forget my first day. I played Taio Cruz’s “Dynamite” from my itunes as girls walked into my classroom and greeted each one of them with the enthusiasm I hoped to pass on to them about choir….but inside I was a nervous wreck all day (and all year!) long. However, as I got to know more students, I fell more and more in love with teaching choir to these middle school girls.  Whether or not you believe in fate, destiny, or some divine plan, I know that I was meant to teach here and to find my passion—mentoring young (preferably female) singers.

It wasn’t always easy. I’ve lived two or more hours from my best friends and family for these past two years, and being stashed away in my secluded corner of (not one, but) two schools wasn’t exactly conducive to building close adult relationships. Beyond that, structural and communication flaws in one of the buildings I taught in made my life a complete nightmare on many occasions. And don’t even get me started on the challenges of trying to get a word in edgewise with 70 chatty 7^th grade girls in front of me! Even so, it was always worth it. It was always more than worth it.

The greatest compliment a teacher can give his or her students is that they made him/her better at teaching. You did that and so much more. Because of you, I can look below the surface of behavior to why students act and think the way that they do, what the real cause of the issue is. This helpful not only in the classroom, but also in all dealing with people in life. Because of you, I know to be transparent with my decision-making and thinking as I’m teaching a piece of music (even if I learned this lesson later rather than sooner). Because of you, I know that students have to feel safe in an environment to truly sing their best. I’m still learning and still not the teacher I hope to be one day, but I feel like I am on my way there because I was lucky enough to have you as my first students.

I’ve also learned a lot about life generally in my time here. Probably the most important thing I learned is the power of vulnerability. It’s scary to let yourself be seen, truly seen, by other people, but it’s also the greatest feeling in the world. On the flipside is the power of insecurity and how it makes us mere humans behave. Insecurity literally makes people of all ages crazy, and (unfortunately) it runs rampant in middle school. I hope that at some point in our two years together you have felt secure and you have felt seen. I strived to do both for every single one of my students every single day and will keep striving for that goal my entire career. Your incredible spirit of generosity, kindness, and forgiveness are helping me to grow into the person I’ve always wanted to be.

I have so many great memories here that I will never be able to complete a list, but here are a few that you might identify with: the first time your group was ever successful with some form of harmony, our great (and sometimes less than great) performances, using your creativity to add actions and/or dance moves to our choir songs, going deeper into the meanings of pieces so that you could make music rather than just sing notes off of the page, conversations before and after (and sometimes during…) rehearsal, joking around any time, and so much more. Last year, I was sad because I knew I would miss my 8^th graders moving on, and I never thought that I would be as close to any other class. You all have proven me so so wrong. It has been such a pleasure teaching you these past two years.

As you know, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t give you a little bit of advice before leaving….so here it is. The most important thing we do not only this room but in this life is treat each other with kindness and respect. To do this, wake up every day with the mentality that you are going to make someone’s life a little bit better that day—it doesn’t have to be huge; it just has to be something. I’ve seen middle school girls gossip, cat-fight, roll their eyes, and scream at each other… but I’ve also seen them encourage each other, compliment each other, offer help to someone in need and so much more. It’s your choice which kind of person you want to be. I know it can be hard, but anything in life that’s worth doing is hard. Practice every day by being kind to yourself first—look in the mirror (standing up tall with your sternum lifted, of course), smile, and say “I am an exceptional person”…. because you are, and the more you say it, the more you believe it; the more you believe it, the less need you will have to tear someone else down to make yourself feel better. You are so loveable already—there is no need to fight for it.

My second piece of advice: keep singing. Ideally this would be in a choir, but even if you don’t keep going in choir, keep singing. Be brave and work hard. It’s amazing how music can change your life when you let it.

Finally, and most importantly, (and I know I already took my poster down, but it is as true now as it was the day I put it there): If you ever (EVER) think that nobody cares, think again. I am just an email/snail mail letter/facebook message/tweet/instagram photo/skype conversation away. Don’t you dare hesitate to track me down if you ever need someone who cares for you to talk to… or, you know, video dance with.

No matter where I am or what I’m doing, I will always think back to the first batch of students I ever had very fondly and remember who they made me, what we mean to each other, and why I got into teaching. I love you all dearly and will see you soon.

So much love,

MsP